wagner

Dear Beautiful People,

Within the first hours of daylight, I’ve seen that you’re graduating, getting married, going on vacations, and traveling the world. I see you through your perfect pictures with inspirational quotes and giddy posts about how blessed you are. You have the perfect home and the perfect partner who surprised you with a puppy simply because it’s Tuesday. And you got hired for your dream career. All of this has happened to you while I’ve barely managed to swing my legs off my bed and have a cup of coffee. I didn’t get to see your struggle to see if you were like me. You know, sometimes crying and drinking simultaneously when you really need company but the world is intangible.

What is it like to carry on with life normally and be able to go out because you were invited? What is it like to have people laugh at your jokes? What is it like to have jokes and friends? What is it like to not choke into a dreadful silence at the thought of social interaction? What is it like to know that your existence is acknowledged and appreciated? What is it like to be able to create beautiful memories with people and not be a burden? What is it like to not have to be alone if you don’t want to be alone?

Please describe the feeling of being able to look yourself in the mirror and not break into tears and self-loathing. Please tell me how it feels to not spend your day dreading the day and suffering from an existential crisis. Please tell me how it feels to not have to look back over your entire life only to realize that it was a waste.

tarzan

Dear Beautiful People,

Within the first hours of daylight, I’ve seen that you’re graduating, getting married, going on vacations, and traveling the world. I see you through your perfect pictures with inspirational quotes and giddy posts about how blessed you are. You have the perfect home and the perfect partner who surprised you with a puppy simply because it’s Tuesday. And you got hired for your dream career. All of this has happened to you while I’ve barely managed to swing my legs off my bed and have a cup of coffee. I didn’t get to see your struggle to see if you were like me. You know, sometimes crying and drinking simultaneously when you really need company but the world is intangible.

What is it like to carry on with life normally and be able to go out because you were invited? What is it like to have people laugh at your jokes? What is it like to have jokes and friends? What is it like to not choke into a dreadful silence at the thought of social interaction? What is it like to know that your existence is acknowledged and appreciated? What is it like to be able to create beautiful memories with people and not be a burden? What is it like to not have to be alone if you don’t want to be alone?

Please describe the feeling of being able to look yourself in the mirror and not break into tears and self-loathing. Please tell me how it feels to not spend your day dreading the day and suffering from an existential crisis. Please tell me how it feels to not have to look back over your entire life only to realize that it was a waste.

-A Depressed Chic

testing

donovan

Dear Beautiful People,

Within the first hours of daylight, I’ve seen that you’re graduating, getting married, going on vacations, and traveling the world. I see you through your perfect pictures with inspirational quotes and giddy posts about how blessed you are. You have the perfect home and the perfect partner who surprised you with a puppy simply because it’s Tuesday. And you got hired for your dream career. All of this has happened to you while I’ve barely managed to swing my legs off my bed and have a cup of coffee. I didn’t get to see your struggle to see if you were like me. You know, sometimes crying and drinking simultaneously when you really need company but the world is intangible.

What is it like to carry on with life normally and be able to go out because you were invited? What is it like to have people laugh at your jokes? What is it like to have jokes and friends? What is it like to not choke into a dreadful silence at the thought of social interaction? What is it like to know that your existence is acknowledged and appreciated? What is it like to be able to create beautiful memories with people and not be a burden? What is it like to not have to be alone if you don’t want to be alone?

Please describe the feeling of being able to look yourself in the mirror and not break into tears and self-loathing. Please tell me how it feels to not spend your day dreading the day and suffering from an existential crisis. Please tell me how it feels to not have to look back over your entire life only to realize that it was a waste.

-A Depressed Chick

I’m A Depressed And Socially Anxious Hot Mess. Oh Dear. Sigh.

Dear Beautiful People,

Within the first hours of daylight, I’ve seen that you’re graduating, getting married, going on vacations, and traveling the world. I see you through your perfect pictures with inspirational quotes and giddy posts about how blessed you are. You have the perfect home and the perfect partner who surprised you with a puppy simply because it’s Tuesday. And you got hired for your dream career. All of this has happened to you while I’ve barely managed to swing my legs off my bed and have a cup of coffee. I didn’t get to see your struggle to see if you were like me. You know, sometimes crying and drinking simultaneously when you really need company but the world is intangible. Continue reading

I don’t see how you think that watching your brother-in-arms die on his deathbed is funny. He served our country and died for it, and you just turn your head. But that’s not the worst part. No, you go and dump me right outside the hospital room as he passes. What selfish person does that to a man? Loses his closest friend and then dumps him on the spot? I hope that one day you will be in the same spot that he was in. And that you’ll have to watch you friend’s boyfriend laugh as you fade away. Then you will know true pain.

I’m Always There For Everyone Else, But I Can NEVER Get The Same In Return.

Why is it that I’m always there when someone needs me? I am a very strong person, and I am very good at hiding my emotions, but at some point, things become too much for me to handle and I break down. I almost lost the love of my life to depression. When I finally broke down from being strong for him, and helping him get better, and saw that there was hope, no one was there.

I was told things like, “If he killed himself, you’d be over it in a week,” and, “No, he wasn’t serious.” When you are begging someone you love not to take their life in the middle of the night, I’d consider that to be pretty damn serious. No one took my feelings seriously. That entire time I suffered and I even considered ending my own life due to all the pain that I was in. It was excruciating and I felt so alone. Continue reading

You Told Dad On His Deathbed, “I Was Hospitalized Too You Know.” Burn B*t*h.

Do you remember what you said when dad was on his deathbed? You said, “I was hospitalized too you know.” Well, I don’t f**king care! Sure you got some mental illness, but that doesn’t make you disabled or anything.

Dad didn’t get proper medication for his cancer because of you. He said, “Who’s going to take care of my daughters if I’m not home?” Well, if you had just stepped up and been a mother instead of a whiny b*t*h, he wouldn’t have died! You don’t even shed a tear for everything he’s done for you.

Now you’re burdening your old parents. They gave you everything that you don’t even deserve; yet you still yell and whine at them. I’m sick of being your mother, when you should’ve been that for me and my sister.

image: dreamingofariz