He Was Speedballing On Heroin And Cocaine

I met the man of my dreams at 18.  We were inseparable.  At 20 I had our baby girl.  When I was pregnant he was great, we were still inseparable, and had moved into our first apartment!  Before her second birthday I noticed he was always sneaking into the other room.  Come to find out, he was speedballing on heroin and cocaine.  Nights were crazy as he would come home later and later.  Finally, he went to rehab after being caught with stuff!  This was about two months inpatient and several months outpatient.  I had my love and my best friend back!  He was working again, and him and our daughter were attached at the hip.

Things were good until he relapsed when our daughter was three.  He got caught up again.  He went to prison for four years.  I was devastated. Our daughter was devastated.  We kept in contact for a while until he wanted me to marry him while he was in prison.  I couldn’t.  I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle.  When I refused and told him I wasn’t going to do that, he was mad.  “I thought you loved me?  I won’t use any more!”  Blah blah.  I came to the realization that I had to move on.  I stopped contact, which was the hardest thing.  I loved him.  I thought I could fix his habit.  When he came home, we rekindled.  He was amazing.  Working, got us a house, a new car, the whole nine.  He and our daughter were again attached at the hip.  He wasn’t using!!!!!

I soon felt something was off.  I came home from work early one day and his brother’s car was there.  I didn’t think anything of it until I walked in the house.  It was his sister-in-law.  What was she there for in the middle of the day?  They said she was waiting for me.  We always did stuff as a family, and her and I were close.  I disregarded it, but a week or so later he left his Facebook open on the computer after he left for work.  Surprise!  They were sending messages about “hooking up” when his brother was gone!  And how they loved each other, and how she wanted to leave his brother but he took care of her and the kids.  Wow, talk about a stab in the back.  I called them both out on it, and of course they denied it, but I saw the messages myself!  I forgave him like a dummy!

I wanted it to work, and after a few months, I was surprised with a ring on Valentine’s Day last year!  I was happy and all seemed well.  No more cheating, but the drugs came back into his life last summer and so did a new girl!  He was using meth this time, and so was the other woman!  He left last September!  He saw our daughter for her birthday soon after, but hasn’t seen her since.  Him or his family.  He got caught up yet again.  Our daughter sent him a note a few weeks ago, but she hasn’t heard anything.  I feel bad for her.

image- Nightlife Of Revelry