He Would Not Calm Down

I cannot believe that I am in this situation.  I feel totally naive. How did I get here?  I am married to someone I don’t know how to describe, other than to say he is truly horrible.  The list is too long and horrible to go into.  I finally got him to come to a counseling session because I told him we are not going to make it if we don’t.  He agreed, but the entire 40-minute drive he’s screaming and cursing me all the way there.  He even paused to roll down the window at one point to yell at some men walking down the street.  He screamed, “She is a F****** B****.”  No reasoning or request would calm him down.  When we got to the session he acted 80% calmer.  He was more reasonable, but still rude and hateful towards me.  On the way home it was even worse.  He was yelling so loud my ears hurt and I had a headache by the time I got home.  Maybe that sounds tame?  It is just the tip of many things.  Why don’t I leave?  It is never an easy answer.  Part of it is that he is someone with money and power.  But that is not it.  Pushing through though for a better and new tomorrow.

image- psyberartist