I Can’t Dig My Emotions Out

What does it all mean?  I just do not get it.  We’ve been friends for a long time now.  About four years.  And now that we’re about to go our separate ways, I mustered up enough courage to tell you how I “actually” felt.  All these years, I have really been digging you, and you admit the same.  But now I wonder if I really should have crossed that line from friends to lovers.  I mean, we’ve kissed, touched, and other stuff, but now, I don’t think I can just remain your “friend.”  I want more, but I’m afraid that you don’t want anything more.  You’ve told me that you wanted us to be together, but when?  You said later, but why not now?  I’ve told you that I had feelings and that they are pretty strong.  I mean, you were even mad at me for not going to the same college as you, and for going so far away from you.  I just don’t get it.  Do you want to be together or just stay friends?  But I DO NOT think just staying friends is even an option now.  I’ve gotten too deep and I don’t think I can dig my emotions out of this one.  I try not to care when I see you with other chicks.  I just say to myself, “We’re just friends girl,” but it hurts.  I can’t stop thinking about what happened, and how we connected, but you don’t want to be “together” now???  We both enjoyed it, but we’re still friends.  I just don’t know what it all means.  Either we’re just going to be friends, or we’re going to be together.  I would want the latter, but if being friends is what you want, I’ll just have to deal. MAYBE?

image-  A_of_DooM