It’s all just a f**king lottery. Unfortunately I was given you as parents. It’s depressing to know that I was accidentally given to you. And it’s depressing to know that I will never have love because of you. I will never know love, and I will never be able to love, all because of you. I see my friends, and their crushes, or their loves, and I think, “How lucky are you to know how to love, and to have people in your life that care for you, love you, and couldn’t live without you?” Then I’ll look at my life, and I’ll feel rage and depression. And it’s all because of you.
As my parents, you were given the chance to make a positive imprint on my life, and you ruined it. You taught pain and fear while others taught their children love and kindness. Other children will grow up to have a family with someone they love. They’ll also have children that they truly care for. But you have ruined that for me. You showed me that children are like a noose, and that marriage will not last.
You never taught me or showed me real love, and due to that, I will never love, be loved, or feel love. To this day I still have flashbacks of you yelling at me. Drowning me in despair because of what? Because I slammed a f**king door too loud for your taste? Every single day of my life I remember how it feels to be treated like a doormat instead of a daughter. I remember the feeling of suffocation, aches, and my heart being crushed. I remember despair. You killed all feelings of hope and happiness, and replaced them with depression and fear.
You made it so that I couldn’t tell anyone, or else I would lose everything. You said one time that, “Doctors make children wear gowns at their appointments so that they can see if their parents abuse them.” Unfortunately, physical evidence will never be visible for your kind of abuse. You verbally abused me and left me heartless.
I hate you more than words can say. Because you made me feel worse than words can ever say. I will never forgive you or myself for what happened between us. You were my personal bullies. After stress at school, I came home to get my feelings slaughtered by you. So thank you. Thank you so f**king much.
image: Psycho Photography ©