I Hate You, But I Give Up. I Will No Longer Fight Back. Abuser.

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I’ve been thrown around, raped, beaten, threatened, and even more by you. I’ve tried to get help for years to make you stop being a danger to us. I left you when you tried to kill our baby. Remember that? I do.

I stopped worrying about what YOU needed when your 3-month-old daughter and I had to hide in a homeless shelter. I stopped trying to compromise with you when you forced me to sign over MY RIGHTS to someone else!

I have hated everything about you since my baby called her “Mommy!” I nearly lost everything fighting to get my baby back when it was safe again. The courtroom brawls were so bad that I began having nightmares. I wasn’t sleeping after awhile. I was so afraid to talk that I constantly had a knot in my throat. I honestly considered eating my gun.

Thank God for cancer. I got my baby back.

I never should have lost her to begin with. You never should have threatened our lives. Repeatedly. The police blamed ME for YOUR actions! The police told ME that I could not be raped by my own husband. They told me that it’s MY fault that you beat me.

I documented everything. Saved everything. And now I’ve decided to NEVER call the police again. I’d rather end up dead than to have to deal with the bllsht that comes from begging for help from a police department that doesn’t give a f**k. I’d rather die than to listen to another judge tell me that HIS life is more important than OURS! I’d rather him kill me than to listen to the Attorney General accuse ME of assault when it was clearly self-defense.

Next time, I won’t say a word. I won’t fight back. I won’t call for help. I’ll let you do whatever it is you’re going to do, because the laws are a f**king joke anyway. You win.

image: limaoscarjuliet