For the last six months, my boyfriend of six years has basically neglected our relationship. He has done a multitude of grievances that I won’t go into, but I’m going to sum up the last couple weeks from my perspective. His is different of course.
We haven’t been getting along because I’m sick of being alone and having nobody. I live about 1.5 hours from my family, and have stayed here because of him. I realize this puts a lot of pressure on him, but he keeps “saying” that he wants to be here for me. But he’s not. I got to the point that I left a couple times, and the first week of September I went to the beach with my mom, then the next week with my BFF to get away and get my head clear. Got back and he was still, after 2 weeks, too busy to give me the time of day. Too many other people coming at him with their needs.
After a weekend of being home and still not having any time with him, he promised to spend the day with phones shut off and doors locked because he was planning on going to a friend’s for a couple days the following day. Well, that day he left at noon and didn’t even come home before I went to bed at 1AM. And he brought home about 10 friends, two of whom did not leave for the next four days. Still not an “us” day. I had court the next day due to an issue with my ex-husband, but him and his friends kept me awake until 6AM. I slept through my alarm and missed court. This got me in trouble. I ended up being sick in bed with the nasty flu that’s been going around the last couple weeks. That was a week ago Wednesday. This past Wednesday he left for his friends out of state, and said he’d be home in a day or two. Well, I had no heat or hot water, and gee, his phone wasn’t receiving my messages or calls. Amazing coincidence.
Finally on Friday, I’m beside myself pissed off, he finally calls, and I let him have it. We argued massively and I called him names like “selfish asshole.” Because he still wasn’t coming home and it took him approximately 10 seconds to tell me how to fix it. This is after 3 people came and tried, including the gas man. On Saturday I texted him and told him I was upset because I heard from the court and had another mess to fix and really needed him to come home. I don’t hear from him until 3AM because he’s still at his friend’s. I tell him I give up and that I’m tired of being alone and not being a priority in his life. He doesn’t answer me again until 6PM on Sunday, then calls and acts like it’s my fault because I was yelling at him. He says he wants to have a calm mature conversation, but he doesn’t let me finish my sentences or tell him what exactly I’m so pissed about. Then proceeds to hang up on me several times. I send him a message that says if he doesn’t finish the conversation I would take this as an indication that he would like me to move out. He didn’t answer.
So I told him to stay at his friend’s for a bit and I will work on moving out. I also told him he had my word that I wouldn’t wreck any of his stuff. And I won’t. I’m not like that. I’m looking for thoughts from an objective audience. I realize there is only one side presented here and it’s not completely objective. However, I can leave you with the thought that I have done no offense to him except get very upset at his treatment of me and our relationship. Yes, this has included yelling and being b+tchy. But, I know I can sleep with myself at night knowing that is the worst that I’ve done. Oh, he also has made about 25 promises to me to fix things and hasn’t kept a single one. I know he loves me, and our sex life can only be had by two people completely into each other, but it’s just not enough.
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