Dear The Guy I Fell In “Love” With,
For the longest time I thought that I loved you as more than a friend. And I was right about that, but not in the way that I thought. I loved you as an older brother and you could never see that. I’ve been there for you so much. Yet, you decide to stay in that same spot thinking that I’m the one who is so horrible. You think that I’m the one who made the problems or the mistakes, but it wasn’t just me, it was both of us.
I’ve been there for you, even though I’ve hated you through the times that we weren’t friends, or when you made me cry for not the best reasons. I was there when you tried to take your own life. Twice. And I might’ve called 911 the second time, but that was only because I cared. You couldn’t see that. I told your mom too. I’m so sick and tired of you putting me in a spot that hurts. Putting me in a spot where I have to deal with life or death. Putting me in a spot where I have to make sure you stay alive because I will fight with absolutely everything I have even if I end up losing in the end.
I’ve fought for you these past three years, and overall, I’m done with you. You aren’t appreciative enough to realize what I’ve gone through because of you. I’ve fought for you. I’ve lost you. And I know how it feels to be alone. But damn. Please realize that while I am still here, you cannot keep dragging myself and others down like this. You’re breaking my heart every time, over and over again, and I’m tired.
It’s time to leave, but I’m scared you’ll do something. You’ve blocked me out of your life when I’ve only tried to save yours. Even if you didn’t want to be saved. You’ll thank me for all I’ve done for you one day in the future. When you have kids and a wife and everything you’ve dreamed of. Maybe you’ll have some bumps in the road, but you’ll get there. I just want you to be happy. So please stop hurting me. And your mother.
image: andreawilla