I May Never Find The One For Me, But You Are Not Him

I fell in love with you when I was still married. I left him and his loving family that took me in as their own and supported me. You were my childhood friend.  I fell in love the moment I met you again.  You gave up on your fiancé and kicked her out.  I moved in.  After destroying my marriage and getting my husband arrested, you decided that you didn’t want a relationship with me.

I moved out.  You and I remained friends.  Friends with benefits for six months.  You decided that you wanted me back in your life.  You asked me to be your girl again.  I agreed.  Two months later you accepted a job two hours away and said that you were moving.  First you wanted me to go with you, then you decided that you weren’t ready for me to come along.  I applied to college where your new job was and got accepted. I was going to possibly live with you while in school, or possibly live alone. Whatever.  Then you told me not to bother.

I gave up.  I gave up on my dreams.  I lost a scholarship that was offered.  I was defeated.  I found someone new.  You decided to come back and surprise me on Valentine’s Day.  You have nowhere to live.  I gave in and left the new guy for you.  We moved in together again.  Same bullshit happens five more times.  Right now we are not together.  But, I want you to know that this is the last time.  I love you, but I am too old to play these games.  I may never find the one for me, but you are not him.

image- Steve Slater (used to be Wildlife Encounters)