Why is it that I’m always there when someone needs me? I am a very strong person, and I am very good at hiding my emotions, but at some point, things become too much for me to handle and I break down. I almost lost the love of my life to depression. When I finally broke down from being strong for him, and helping him get better, and saw that there was hope, no one was there.
I was told things like, “If he killed himself, you’d be over it in a week,” and, “No, he wasn’t serious.” When you are begging someone you love not to take their life in the middle of the night, I’d consider that to be pretty damn serious. No one took my feelings seriously. That entire time I suffered and I even considered ending my own life due to all the pain that I was in. It was excruciating and I felt so alone.
Not one time did someone come to ask me if I was all right. Not one time did someone even come and just hug me. When I finally decided to accept the fact that I needed help, I told my best friend that I was going to a therapist. Her words were, “No you’re not,” and then she laughed as if I was joking. I am always there for everyone no matter what. No matter how I’m feeling, and no matter if I actually care about your problem or not. But for some reason I remain completely alone with all of my problems.
image: Laurent Calatayud