I’m Not Suicidal, But I Am So Close To Giving Up. I Just Want Happiness.

I feel like I’m suffocating. I need air. I need space.  But there is nobody around me. I am completely alone.  My family is off on vacation, as are my friends.  It is so sad because the only reason that I am all alone is because I care too much.  I care too much, and I always let people push me around and use me.  I’ve tried to harden up, but when I do, I feel so empty and heartless. I feel like that anyway though.

Ever since I dated my last boyfriend I just can’t seem to get excited by any other guy.  I remember when there was a certain high I would get after kissing someone or brushing up against their arm. Now it’s nothing.  I fell in love with him, and when we broke up I think he took my heart with him. I know that sounds so cheesy.  I am not saying that I want to end my life, but I am so close to just giving up.  I have lost control of not only my life, but also the small things that make me happy. I just want to be happy.

image- Pascal Maramis