I’m Sick And Alone

I feel like my illnesses are unimportant and nothing but an annoyance to my boyfriend.  Not only do I have Pyelonephritis, I also have a horrible problem in my intestines that causes a lot of pain.  Since my mom had the same thing (and it turned out to be very serious for her), my doctor is worried that it could possibly be cancer.  At least twice a week I’m immobilized by sudden pain that can last for hours.  I have to see a surgeon to get part of my intestines removed from this.  But if I ever bring up that I’m in pain or not feeling well, my boyfriend just says, “Sorry, but since this happens a lot, I can’t really be sympathetic.”  Well thanks for that, even though this could potentially kill me after long enough.  It almost did with my mom.  Yeah it may be frequent, but that shows that it isn’t good.  It proves there’s something very wrong with my body, and it really hurts to know that the person I love and would do anything for doesn’t give a damn about it at all.  Not only that, but today I had horrible heart palpitations.  It’s never happened to me before, so I was scared.  I was extremely out of breath and felt like I was going to pass out.  I finally got myself together and texted my boyfriend about it.  Again, he didn’t care.  He just sent short, seemingly angry texts and then disappeared.  So now I’m left here alone, wondering why these scary and serious things don’t matter to someone who should care.  I just want to be comforted and held through this because it really sucks.  But instead, I have to face this alone.

image- Official U.S. Navy Imagery