My early childhood started off living in different foster homes. I met my father once, and my mother was never emotionally stable enough to take care of me. I now find myself alone, few friends, always moving around and choosing the wrong kind of men. I have no job, little education, and have never been able to find motivation or confidence for living, let alone a career. My brother even calls me a “beautiful disaster.” Guys want me for sex because I don’t have much else to offer. Girls tend not to like me because I’m one of the guys. I’m too chicken sh+t to kill myself, and I’m too chicken sh+t to live. I sleep with men in relationships, have feelings for my friend with benefits, and always choose the wrong partners. If you think you’re having a bad day, try having a bad first 35 years of life.