Just man up already. So we almost had this affair. I know things didn’t fall into place, but as we are no longer kids, I had hoped in some way you would be able to be a man for me, rather than an affectionate little boy who doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I get it; you got caught and felt guilty. However, that does not warrant cutting someone out of your life a thousand percent without closure or explanation. You turned me on and left me wanting, but ran back home with your tail between your legs. Now I’m the one who looks mental after a hundred attempts to contact you.
Look, I didn’t ask for you to leave her. I didn’t ask for anything, but what you OFFERED and backed out of twice. I need closure one way or another. I don’t care if you have to be mean, just man up. Admit you were acting as childish as I was. If you want to sleep with me, then just man up and let’s go there. Then we can say we did it and it’s over. Why get in trouble and waste all our fantasies without satisfaction? Twenty years of sexual tension and unconditional love. That just makes you a wuss who can’t step up to the plate and treat me like an adult. Big man can carry a gun and a badge, but kisses like a little boy, and runs when mom calls.
It’s sweet and innocent affection we felt for each other paired with lust. I may as well be totally insane now. If this is what you believed to be “fate,” it sucks. Your fate looks like a dust trail. Mine looks like I need to be medicated all because you cut me off cold. No explanation as to your side of things. I get it. I guess I’m too worried about your life. Truthfully though, you could of skipped f++king with mine. A simple “I miss you,” or, “I love you, but life goes on,” would have done. Now I’m left here with no closure, and wondering why it is you can be a man for everyone but me.
Just own up to the fact you made a mistake in trying to sleep with me, and then felt guilty. You can’t say the kind of stuff you said to me and just walk away without being a total liar. Worst part is, I know you deep down. You care too much to hurt my feelings. You need to step up and take responsibility for your actions with me as well. Otherwise, this will be an unhealed rift in your soul as long as it is in mine. You can’t deny it.
Closure is important. Proper goodbyes are expected, or even proper bad byes. Just stop treating me like we haven’t grown up, because we were each other’s first love. I need you to help us both evolve by manning up. This is without a doubt arrested development. It’s time to prove one way or another to me you’re not a little boy. I can take it like a woman. Just tell me to my face what a mistake we both know this was, so I don’t sit here with false hope. I will love you forever, and that will never change, but come on already. Get me off or tell me off. Limbo sucks.
image: Love Trill