Mom: I Was Your Baby Boy And You Were My Boogeyman

I never had a choice. I was born, without my consent, and I had to bond with you. My relationship with you was the first relationship that I ever had. How do I tell people that it is also the most toxic relationship that I’ve ever had? How do I explain to the woman who shares my bed that I sometimes wake up screaming and covered in sweat, and have my entire life, because of how mean my mother was to me? I have a big red scar across my neck, because you literally cornered me, then berated, insulted, and taunted me until I slit my own throat. I got better, but you only got worse. You delighted in taking from me the things that I loved. Sometimes to manipulate and control, but other times, just to be mean and spiteful. I finally broke away, and now you’re dead. And now I’m the villain because I can’t find it within myself to mourn you. I was your baby boy, but you were (and still are) my Boogeyman.

image- simpleinsomnia