I considered suicide today. I can’t believe I’m typing this. I am so stressed out over money and being in debt that it seemed like the only logical way to get out of it and start over. Isn’t that ridiculous? Maybe I’m sick. Maybe I’m sicker than I’ve ever thought or considered myself to be, to think that suicide is the only way out of my problems. I still feel overwhelmed and all consumed by money and never having any. I understand why people engage in illegal sh*t to make money. Would I seriously kill myself? Probably not. But today, all day, I wouldn’t have been upset to get into a car accident that put me into a coma for a while. Again, I realize these thoughts are terrible.
Have you ever been so worried about money and debt that you felt this way? Like, if one more f**king bill collector calls me I’m going to lose it. Everyone says it’s going to get better, but I’m not really sure that I believe them. I just want to make the money (I deserve) that matches the work experience and degree I have, yet I make sh*t. I would be so grateful if you could say a prayer for me and my peace of mind. And, I promise that you will not read about me killing myself over money. I just wanted to get my thoughts out.
image- Orin Zebest