My boyfriend of the last three years got blackout drunk and cheated on me. I knew that night that he was in a bad place, and I could hear how drunk he was before he decided to go BACK to the bar. It hurts. He said it was not his intention to look for anything that night. He just wanted to go back for more to drink. He only has flashes of what he remembers, or he just can’t admit to remembering more. I will never know. He told me only a few days after it happened. At the moment I hate him. I love him, but I am all over the place with my emotions. He promised therapy and to talk through things if I decided to stay. He gets frustrated when I ask for information. He promised if he remembered more he would tell me. I really don’t want to know. Knowing more will hurry me more, but not knowing what happened is eating me up. I wish he would get help with his drinking so this will never even have a chance of happening again. While he promised it wouldn’t, he also promised it would never happen in the first place. Fuck, I hate this.
image- Camera Eye Photography