I got married!! Yes!! To my best friend, who I would call my soulmate. After two failed marriages I KNEW this was it. THE ONE! So four months after we were married I discovered he had been sending emails soliciting sex from women through Craigslist. I had known that at times when we were intimate he felt a “stabbing” sensation that clearly dampened our sex life. He told me on many occasions that it was infrequent, but I had to figure out what was happening. So after many doctors visits and uncomfortable exams, nothing was found, and he assured me it was infrequent.
Fast forward to the discovery of the emails and entering marriage counseling. The pain was EVERY time and he didn’t know how to communicate with me and began sending emails because he says he was in pain, frustrated about the possibility of living his life in pain, and not having a fulfilled sex life. He said that I was everything he ever wanted in a woman, but was scared. He says he never acted on anything, he just sent emails. So here we are four years together, married for one, emails happening since the beginning of our relationship, and the emails stopped four months before we were married, even though he was still being hurt. I had to have a hysterectomy, and now he says there is no pain.
I have agreed to try to move forward in the relationship and try to work through issues. Now today he tells me, basically, that if I am not willing to move out of state, we won’t stay together. He says he can wait awhile as I am caring for my elderly ill mother (I’m assuming the waiting is until she passes), but that if I am unable to move and leave everything behind, so he can be near his children, it’s basically over. Mind you, when we first met, he told me his ex moved out of state with the kids and I asked him if he intended on moving out of state because I saw no point in starting a relationship if he was, and he said no. His life was here. Family, friends, and work. And now things are different. I feel like such a fool.