After four years, I resign as your caretaker. I resign as your replacement mom. But more importantly, I resign as your victim.
I want to tell you why.
In February 2009, you were in a dire situation. You were living in an apartment that you were being evicted from, and the electric was turned off. I felt terrible for you, so I invited you to my home to live till you got on your feet to start anew. Your dad and I financially supported your cost of living while putting stress on our own financial needs. Little did I know that I was about to step into the Twilight Zone for the next four years.
Anna, I went above and beyond to be a mother figure and a dear friend to you. But there was nothing I could do to stop you from destroying our relationship. No matter what I did, our relationship was not important. You have told horrible lies on me. You have violated my privacy and personal property since day one. Asking you not to did absolutely no good. You continued to do so knowing I was aware of it. What kind of person does that? What kind of person is not capable of knowing how that feels to the other person? Do you not get embarrassed? That is called lack of empathy Anna. Something your brain is not capable of sending out. Normal people don’t behave that way.
But the worst part of it all is how you would do these things to me and run to your dad for rescue. He has loved you unconditionally your entire life. You have successfully been taking advantage of, and manipulating your dad for years on end without him even having a clue. You’ve had him permanently fooled. He would be the last person that would ever dream of you being capable of such pathological lying and deceit. You played the victim, sucking on his empathy, in order to manipulate him into covering up your lies and cruelty you used on me and everyone else. It didn’t matter what you did. He could find my personal property in your car after you lied about having it, but after your unbelievable explanation to him, he would take my things back in the house, sweep your actions under the rug, with no apology from you. Again, you’re incapable of understanding how that feels to me. You referred to your dad as, “The Most Wonderful Dad In The World.” That was because he saved and covered up for you and all of the destruction that you caused. But as soon as he caught and confronted you on your behavior in September, things changed. I doubt he will make excuses for your outrageous behavior anymore, because clearly, there is none.
Your mask? Oh, it’s outgoing and charming beyond belief. You have everyone fooled that you are the sweetest thing. You have to be the center of attention. I’ve listened to you manipulate all your girlfriends on the phone, and watched as you skillfully got them fired from their job. I have witnessed how you befriend others, use them, and then discard them without a thought. You will discard someone like an object, rather than a human being, because they aren’t providing you exactly what you need at the moment. That is why you do these horrific things to others without any remorse.
The pain and absolute mental torture you have caused your dad and I, doesn’t matter to you. I realized last year, it was no use. For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why, but then it clicked. My heart was telling me what I refused to see. There was something in you that was damaged; it caused you to treat everyone in your life as if they were nothing. That the sweet smiling girl I cared for was only an illusion to the heartless child underneath. I watched you walk all over people, use and abuse them, and act as though it was nothing.
I saw glimmers of hope in you every now and then. I guess that’s what kept me by your side for four years. I’ve learned a hard lesson, that the daughter I initially fell in love with, was never real. I spent the majority of our relationship in misery. I’ve learned that you will never change. I’ve learned that you never truly cared for me.
I’ve read up on your kind, and you’re all the same. Narcissists. You only care about yourself. You crave attention in any way you can get it. You project all of your own issues onto everyone else. I feel that being overweight as you were in your younger years has caused you to have very low self-esteem, and seeing others suffer makes you feel good. You will try anything in your power to build yourself up, regardless of how it will affect those around you. Do you remember saying to me, “I love to cause drama for people, so I can run to their rescue and look like the good guy.” Nothing is ever your fault. An apology for your actions will never cross your lips. You have no sense of fidelity or responsibility. You are completely aware of your manipulation, and lack empathy for anyone. You feel it’s your right to take advantage of, maliciously lie about, or walk on anyone if it furthers your goals, whether right or wrong.
Anna, there are lots of people in your immediate family. But…we only talk about you. More specifically, you only talk about you. If by chance you are not the topic, you create some outrageous drama so you are front and center again. I realize now, this process will never end. I pity you. Not because of your past, but for your future. You will always be broken. You will always seek out people, objects, even experiences, to fill the void in your soul. You will never find anything to fill it. You will spend the rest of your life ruining others’ lives to give yourself temporary happiness. You will plow through more friendships and pretend they are your new best friend. You will replace them in an instant, and leave them grappling in the wake of your disaster. You will not feel guilt or remorse for what you’ve done. You will remember the people you’ve lost along the way. And at this point, it’s a pretty high number of people.
What’s wrong with this picture Anna? Your mom and sisters won’t have anything to do with you, past friends won’t have anything to do with you, and I don’t want anything to do with you. There are so many others. Is it all of us? Or is it you? I’ve already realized I will never get an apology or even an admittance of the way you treated me. Apparently you feel there is no need to explain or justify your actions. Not to me perhaps, but there may well be another who might feel differently in the future.
This last egregious act you pulled by intentionally getting pregnant to trap Tyler, is more than I can stomach. I know exactly what you did Anna. Where is your pride? He was honest with you and told you he did not want a commitment to you. He wanted to date other girls. Doesn’t matter…It’s what Anna wants. So now you are pregnant. I’m sure your dad imagined the day he was told he was going to be a grandpa was a much happier future thought than what you made reality by your irresponsible plot.
I’ve also realized that you will always blame your dad and I for everything, as well as spread malicious lies about me, as you’ve already done. Just like you blamed other people for the situation you were in when you came to live with us. This alone has shown me that you will not change. Every failed relationship in your life has an excuse. Every person that deserted you was the one in the wrong. You will never wake up and realize that you are the problem. I hope that one day you will get counseling before you cross the wrong person, and they beat the living hell out of you for some horrible thing you have done to them.