No, We’re Not Friends. No, You Can’t Have Your Money Back. You Disgust Me.

Our mutual friends referred you to me. They believed you were a mature and responsible adult. You flaked on them because they didn’t meet your unrealistic expectations. And then you flaked on me. I actually saw it coming, but I only saw it coming after I agreed to help you. You took off to find greener pastures, but now you’re back because those pastures weren’t as green as you mistakenly believed. Don’t mistake me to be your friend. I don’t care that you’re back, and I expect that you’ll be packing up and leaving again soon. No, you can’t have your money back. I held up my end of our deal. Learn how to manage your life and keep a job.

image: jwerkman