I was your wife for almost fifteen years. Together we raised our boys and built a life that I THOUGHT was a happy one. I loved you with everything I had. Without even realizing it, I gave up my friends, my career, and even some of my family. You controlled EVERYTHING in our marriage and made ALL the decisions. You insisted that I quit my job, yet whenever I wanted something I was always told that we didn’t need it or that it was a waste of money. Meanwhile, you were able to buy anything you pleased. You valued the opinions of everyone else over mine. I was NEVER your first priority. Hell, most of the time I wasn’t your second or even your third priority for that matter.
You controlled who I talked to and where I went. Weeks went by where I didn’t even leave the house. And I was okay with all of that because it made you happy. For fifteen years I stood by you no matter what. No problem was big enough to break us because we’d face and conquer that s**t together. I remained loyal to you to a fault. When your own friends hit on me OVER and OVER again, I shut that s**t down, fast and in a hurry. I let them know from the start that they had no chance with me. YOU were my husband, and no one else could EVER come close.
Then almost a year ago, I found the texts she sent you and it broke me. I left and started looking for divorce attorneys. Never in a million years did I think that you would ever betray me like that. It was a mistake and you were very sorry. You promised you’d never hurt me again, that you’d make some real changes and be a better husband if I just gave you another chance. So like an idiot, I gave you another chance.
Now here I sit, almost a year later, with my heart shattered once again because you told me that you have feelings for someone else. As if that wasn’t enough to rip my f**king heart out of my chest, you also blamed me for the fact that you aren’t happy. I always nag and always accuse you, and you can’t just get up and go whenever you want without me bitching at you. Your exact words were, “I know I f**ked up, but DAMN!” I guess I was supposed to just get over it. Well lucky you, at least you get to go places. I don’t have a car because you broke it a year ago and promised to fix it. Yet, there it sits, still on blocks. Yet your vehicle runs just fine. If there’s a problem with your vehicle it gets fixed within a week.
I may have not been the perfect wife, but you weren’t so perfect yourself. But I loved everything about you, and accepted you WHOLE, flaws and all. Fifteen years is a long time, so of course I’m sad. You’re the father of my children, and a life without you (as a parent) is one that I’ve never had to live. But honestly, our marriage was over the day I found out you cheated.
I’ve already mourned the end of our relationship. I was broken in September, but today I am free. I truly wish you the best, and I hope you find happiness and whatever it is that you’re looking for. And whoever you get involved with, be good to her. Be the man that she deserves. Love her wholeheartedly and DON’T hold back. Let our marriage be a lesson that you learn from. Don’t make the same mistakes that you made with me. Good luck and God bless.
image: Soumyadeep Paul