I turned 28 a couple days ago, and it just reminded me of how my life is sh*t. I work, sleep, pay bills, play video games, and repeat. Every now and then, just out of sheer loneliness, I go to “escorts” to have sex and converse. I visit escorts because I believe that maybe seeing them will alleviate my sense of being alone in the world, but it doesn’t. All I feel when I leave is dirty and even more alone, but that doesn’t stop me from going again the next time.
So I’m 28, have only ever had sex with “escorts,” and feel alone in the world. The most frustrating part about my life is that everyone around me is content and happy in their relationships. So I just wonder, “Is this it?” Two things keep me going: 1. My parents need my help to pay their bills. 2. My fear that there is nothing after death.
Does this get better? Is there someone out there for me? Or is the idea that there is “someone for everyone” b*llsh*t, and it never will get better for some of us?