I was really sure that I was over life and everyone and everything in it. Things can change so quickly. And when you’re 16, things seem to feel and look a lot worse and more complicated all the time. I live in such a beautiful but cruel city. I used to love people knowing where I come from. I used to love how we rolled and controlled the streets. Full of parties, drugs, and weapons. I used to love how the city was divided by groups of people who didn’t associate with each other because of culture, looks, and money “gangs.”
We were all so young and dumb. We were only teenagers, but we could pass as adults with our fashion sense. I used to love it all so much. “I live the life, no drama, no worries, just fun.” I used to love it all until one day one of my closest friends was stabbed. This happened only a few months ago. And then another friend experienced violence. Only this time they were beaten and left to die. And then I lost my best friend to something I used to be so addicted to.
And now I’m here drowning in my own thoughts of what it would be like if I lived a normal life at the age of 16. Not like something out of a movie. I think about what it would be like if I still had those people here on earth with me. I think about how I would be a much happier person. I also think about if I was the one who passed away instead of my friends.
image: lyman erskine