Everyday is different for me, but some days are unbearable. I’m still trying to find my way around this world and get used to the fact that you are gone. We are now almost three years into this s**t! But how do you rearrange your life to adjust to something so heart shattering?
I think to myself all the time, “Why did my brother deserve to be murdered?” Why did God do this to us (family)? Am I being punished for something? Why did your son get cheated out of having his daddy around? You did everything right bro. Graduated, got a job, bought a house, and had a family. Still you were taken away from us in the worst way. It hurts so bad.
I close my eyes at night and take deep breaths when I feel like the walls are closing in on me. All because I miss you so much and it’s out of my control. It’s unfair. And even more, we still have no closure. No justice. I wish people would value human life a little more. It’s not something that can be replaced or bought. If it were, I would buy you a new life. I’m just a girl devastated over the senseless murder of her big brother.