Competitiveness and desperation: The truth behind dating at Harvard

I am actually one of the few people who had (and continue to have) a really healthy relationship with someone I met at Harvard.  I think it’s because we both had really fun social circles outside of each other that allowed us to exist both together and apart.  And in the beginning, we had been pretty open about what we wanted out of a college relationship.

My real gripe was with the behavior of many girls who I had considered friends.  You see, a lot of these guys feel entitled to a hook-up and to treat you like filth because if you say no, there are five desperate chicks in line who will do ANYTHING to win.  That type of hyper-competitiveness really backfires.  I will never forget a night when I was sitting on my boyfriend’s lap at a party and this stumbling drunk blonde came over, pushed me off, and started making out with his ear because they had hooked up in the past.  Luckily my guy and I had been dating for a few months at that point so he pushed her away.  But I was appalled that our relationship meant absolutely nothing to this girl.  There were no boundaries.  I had problems with his ex-girlfriend, also from Harvard, as well.  She would constantly text him about me and say she had seen me cheating or say I was talking about marriage; basically, anything that would make him freak out.  Oh yeah, the naked pic she sent was a fun one too.  And then we graduated and it all went away.

Even though chicks can be desperate or slutty in the real world, they at least won’t try and deliberately wreck your relationship.  It’s much less dog-eat-dog and more of a “plenty of fish” mentality.  But I think the hookup culture at Harvard won’t really be ended until women start respecting each other instead of just assuming they’re all adversaries.  Granted, the pool of attractive men is a lot smaller, but it shouldn’t be a race or competition with a man as a prize.  A relationship should just be something fun and organic that people should honor and enjoy.